1. Doctor Bones

From the recording What's That Thing?

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Doctor Bones

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This song goes nicely with the one that follows it because, as you can probably tell, it's not actually about a doctor.

If you're feeling sick and weary
If you feel the weight of years
If you think there must be something wrong
But you don't know what it is
There's a doctor - here's his number
Hey, my friend, you ought to phone
Everybody calls him Doctor Bones

Doctor Bones is at your service
Doctor Bones waits for your call
His license and diplomas
Framed like art up on the wall
He'll be standing right beside you
As you face the great unknown
They call him Doctor
Call him Doctor
They call him Doctor Bones

He can slice you with his scalpel
Or he can heal you just with love
As he lays his hands upon you
In those powdered latex gloves
You can tell he feels the power
When he makes you squirm and moan
You're in the tender care of Doctor Bones

Doctor Bones is there to help you
Doctor Bones is in your plan
He knows all of the diseases
And deformities of Man
He will cure you or he'll kill you
The outcome is unknown
They call him Doctor
Call him Doctor
They call him Doctor Bones

He can stitch you up real pretty
Or he can rip you limb from limb
That's why everybody has respect for him

He's the savior of the hopeless
No, there is no doubt about it
He's equipped for anesthesia
Though he often works without it
So take a seat - it's gonna cost you everything you own
Leave the paperwork to Doctor Bones

Doctor Bones can find the answer
Doctor Bones can make you whole
He can see the cancer that grows inside your soul
And he can hear you cry that you don't want to die alone
They call him Doctor, call him Doctor
They call him -
Doctor Bones is understanding
His compassion never fails
You can feel the cold breeze
As you stand upon his scales
When you're fevered and delirious
He comes to take you home
And they call him Doctor
They call him Doctor
They call him Doctor Bones

Cary Brown - organ
Rick Garcia - lead guitar
Steve Meltzer - drums
Barbara - lead vocal
Mike - backing vocals, 6- and 12-string acoustic guitars, electric guitars, bass, mandolin